Alright Chaos Army…
Pull up a chair.
Or don’t. Stand on the table. I’m not your supervisor.
This is your behind-the-scenes transmission from inside the loudest corner of the internet.
🎬 Movie Star Monday
This week we hang out with Daniel Roebuck, talking about the film The Hail Mary.
If you want to check it out:
https://www.thehailmaryfilm.com/
Now here’s the thing I love about conversations like this…
Hollywood can still surprise you when people actually care about the story instead of just chasing explosions and capes. So we’ll dig into it on the show and see what kind of chaos he brings with him.
🎉 Today’s Reason to Party
Apparently the calendar says today is Tootsie Roll Day.
Which is wild when you realize that candy has survived like six generations of sugar addicts and still refuses to retire.
Someone even made a cocktail version of it:
https://feastandwest.com/tootsie-roll-cocktail/
I’m not saying that’s a good life decision. But I am saying I respect the commitment.
🏨 Survey of the Week
Hotel employees just revealed the item guests steal the most.
You’d think tiny shampoo bottles, right? Nope. Towels.
Almost 90% of hotel staff say towels disappear constantly.
After that it’s:
• Bathrobes
• Hangers
• Toiletries
• Blankets
• Pillows
• Pens
• Remote controls
Basically if it isn’t bolted down, somebody’s packing it like a souvenir. Hotels say replacing this stuff drives room prices up. So if you love something in the room… Maybe just ask where they bought it instead of turning your suitcase into a crime scene.
📺 Big Screen / Little Screen
One celebrity The Simpsons still hasn’t landed…
Will Ferrell.
Matt Selman — one of the writers and the current showrunner — said he’s still chasing that guest appearance. Which is kind of amazing when you realize that show has already had:
• Lady Gaga
• Meryl Streep
• Paul McCartney
…and about a thousand other people. Eight hundred episodes later and they’re still hunting new chaos.
Respect.
💃 Television Chaos Incoming
If you’re a fan of Dancing With The Stars, something big is coming.
They’re doing Dancing With The Stars Con 2026 in Palm Springs. July 31 through August 2. Live performances. Panels. Q&A. Merch. Photo ops. Judges Carrie Ann Inaba and Bruno Tonioli are already confirmed. Basically Comic-Con but with sequins.
🤯 Did You Know
Your tongue print is unique. Same level of individuality as fingerprints. Which means somewhere out there a scientist decided:
“You know what we should study? Tongues.”
And they got funding for it. Academia is a wild place.
🎬 Movie Quote of the Day
"That escalated quickly."
— Ron Burgundy, Anchorman (2004)
Still one of the most accurate descriptions of the internet ever written.
🧠 News That Made Me Pause
Mattel finally confirmed something that honestly should have been obvious.
Ken isn’t just Ken. His full name is Kenneth Sean Carson. He was named after the son of Barbie creator Ruth Handler.
Ken’s official birthday:
March 11, 1961.
Which means the guy has been in an on-again off-again relationship with Barbie longer than most rock bands stay together. And now he’s apparently doing travel promotions with Expedia.
Because if anyone understands a complicated relationship… it’s Ken.
🧠 Random Facts for Your Brain
Here are a few things to casually drop into conversation so people think you read books.
• Drizzle is technically defined as no more than 14 drops per square foot per second.
• The brain has no pain receptors, which is why some brain surgeries are done while the patient is awake.
• In France, Italy, and Australia people put fried eggs on pizza.
• Cats don’t have collarbones.
• Someone spent seven months building a 22-sided Rubik’s Cube…
and it exploded on the first turn.
That last one feels like a metaphor for life.
🐈 Weird News (You Cannot Make This Up)
A school in New Zealand spent a year trying to solve a mystery.
Items kept disappearing. Towels. Shoes. Goggles. Even underwear. Security cameras finally caught the thief.
A cat.
A black cat dragging a giant towel across the playground like a criminal mastermind. Turns out the cat had been building a stash behind the PE shed. The owner confirmed the cat’s reputation and apparently this little menace is now known as Slinky Malinki.
Which sounds less like a criminal and more like a jazz musician.
🧠 Chaos Question
37% of people no longer own this once-normal household item.
Answer tomorrow.
But if you want to cheat… Scroll to the bottom.
(I see you.)
🤨 The List: Some Of The Weirdest Inventions Ever Built
Human creativity is amazing. Human judgment… less so.
Highlights include:
• Moustache Shield (1876) — a device to keep your moustache dry while eating
• Fliz — a bicycle you run while hanging from it
• Brainwave Cat Ears that react to your mood
• Dynasphere — a giant wheel you sit inside like a hamster
• Tomatan — a robot that feeds you tomatoes while you run
• Hayfever Hat — dispenses tissues from your head
• Ostrich Pillow — a padded helmet for desk naps
• V-Shaped Bed designed in 1930 because apparently flat beds were too mainstream
Innovation is a beautiful disaster.
❤️ Good News
A random encounter during the Super Bowl turned into something incredible for two Detroit Lions fans. Proof that the internet isn’t always a flaming tire fire. Sometimes it actually delivers something good.
** Answer to the Chaos Question: An Iron **
🎙 One Thing I Didn’t Say On Air
This stuff is why I still love doing radio. There’s music. Yeah. But there’s also the weird stories… the ridiculous inventions… the moments where the world reminds you it’s stranger than fiction.
And honestly? That’s the part that still makes this fun.
So thanks for hanging out in the noise with me. Turn it all the way up.
— Rock King Bobby D
