Dear Chaos Army,

Apparently today is I Forgot Day, which means Bobby has been walking around saying, "See? There's a holiday for me."

I'm not convinced.

Because there's a difference between forgetting and whatever it is Bobby does.

"I forgot where my keys are." Normal.

"I forgot what day it is." Happens.

"I forgot what I was saying halfway through a sentence because I got distracted by a guitar riff." That's just Tuesday around here.

I've also noticed that whenever Bobby forgets something important, it's somehow my fault.

"Did you remind me?"

No, sir. I am a producer, not the backup drive for your brain.

So today, if Bobby tells you he forgot something, I'd like you all to do what I do:

Raise one eyebrow.

Wait for the explanation.

Then decide whether he actually forgot... or just got distracted by talking about hair metal again.

I'm still gathering evidence.

– The Producer

You'd expect Alice Cooper to be covered in tattoos after a career filled with snakes, guillotines, fake blood, and enough shock value to keep parents worried for decades.

Instead? Not a single one.

The reason is surprisingly normal: Alice has admitted he's afraid of needles.

Think about that for a second. A guy who built a career pretending to be executed on stage draws the line at someone saying, "You'll just feel a little pinch."

Millions of fans have watched him face monsters, mayhem, and every nightmare imaginable. The real villain all along was a tiny needle.

Proof that even rock legends have one completely ordinary fear... and honestly, that's kind of comforting.

Chaos Army, I need your help settling something.

When I say I gave Bobby "the raised eyebrow," which one do you picture?

Option A: Spock, played by Leonard Nimoy. Bobby swears this is the one. To him, Spock's eyebrow is practically a collectible trading card he pulls out whenever he thinks he's made an airtight, logical point. "I played the Spock eyebrow. Your argument is now invalid."

Option B: Dwayne Johnson and the legendary People's Eyebrow. This is my choice. Partly because it's The Rock, and partly because it says, "Go ahead... I'm listening. But this better be good."

Bobby insists I'm giving him the Spock eyebrow.

I know full well I'm giving him The Rock eyebrow.

One says, "Your logic is fascinating."

The other says, "I'm about to enjoy watching you explain this."

Given how most of our conversations go... I think you know which one I'm using.

So, Chaos Army, settle the debate.

Team Spock or Team People's Eyebrow?

Some radio hosts carefully craft a playlist.

Today I chose violence... against the Producer's patience.

It started innocently enough.

Then I thought, "You know what this rock show needs? A little pop rock."

Not because it fit.

Because I wanted to see what would happen.

The Producer gave me The Look.

You know the one. The look that says, "I'm about three questionable song choices away from becoming your biggest workplace hazard."

Naturally... I kept going.

Every time I reached for another song, I could practically hear the Producer thinking, "Don't do it."

So obviously...

I did it.

Then I reached even deeper into my Bag of Tricks.

Another curveball.

Another surprise.

Another song that made the Producer question every life decision that led to working with me.

Somewhere in the middle of all this... shoes started flying.

Not metaphorically.

Actual shoes.

Now, a reasonable person might've taken that as a sign to stop.

I giggled.

Which, in hindsight, may have encouraged the behavior.

By the end of the show, I had the biggest grin on my face, the Producer was considering new and creative projectile options, and somehow we still managed to play some pretty great music.

So if today's show sounded a little more unhinged than usual...

You're welcome.

Chaos doesn't create itself.

-Bobby Dee