Alright, my fellow... cool kids.

(That sounded weird the second I typed it.)

I've spent enough time hanging around Bobby and all of you that I catch myself trying to sound Gen X now. I'll throw out a "whatever" or a "that's fair," make a movie reference from 1987 like I was actually there, and pretend I don't immediately Google a few of the bands you all casually mention.

(I know. I know. You can stop laughing.)

The problem is, I'm still a millennial. I accidentally use words like "vibe." I still get excited when I organize something in a color-coded spreadsheet. I have to physically stop myself from saying "adulting," because apparently that's a crime around here. Every time I think I've blended in, I do something that immediately gives me away.

Last week I caught myself saying, "That's so iconic."

(I saw Bobby's soul leave his body.)

So here we are. Me... the millennial producer desperately trying to earn honorary Gen X status one rock fact at a time. It's not going well, but I'm committed to the bit.

This week's newsletter has a little bit of everything: another edition of Cover Wars, a watermelon debate that absolutely did not end when National Watermelon Day did, and, as always, this week's schedule waiting for you at the bottom.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go Google another band so I can casually pretend I've been listening to them since cassette tapes were still a thing.

(I'm fooling absolutely no one.)

It all begins with New Order and their landmark 1983 single "Blue Monday." Rising from the ashes of Joy Division after the tragic loss of Ian Curtis, New Order forged a completely new identity by blending post-punk with electronic dance music. At a time when synthesizers were still finding their place in rock, the band embraced drum machines, sequencers, and icy melodies to create a song that would become one of the most influential tracks of the decade. "Blue Monday" remains the best-selling 12-inch single of all time and has influenced countless artists across rock, pop, industrial, and electronic music.

Fast forward to 1998, when Orgy took that electronic classic and injected it with the aggressive energy of the late-'90s industrial and nu-metal movement. Signed to Korn's Elementree Records, Orgy became one of the defining bands of that era, and their version of "Blue Monday" introduced an entirely new generation to the song. Their heavy guitars, electronic textures, and Jay Gordon's unmistakable vocals transformed the dance anthem into a hard rock staple that's still a fixture on rock playlists today. For many fans, Orgy's version is the version they grew up with.

Now, in 2024, Dead Posey has taken the torch. Comprised of vocalist Danyell Souza and guitarist/producer Tony F., the Los Angeles duo has built a loyal following by blending modern hard rock, industrial influences, and cinematic production into songs that have landed everywhere from television shows to video games.

Their take on "Blue Monday" doesn't reinvent the wheel so much as build on the path Orgy carved decades earlier. While the DNA of New Order's original is still there, Dead Posey leans into the heavier, darker industrial rock approach, adding their own modern production, massive guitars, and unmistakable attitude to create a version that feels both familiar and completely their own.

So this week, we're opening the floor to all three generations of "Blue Monday."

Did New Order create the definitive original? Did Orgy perfect the rock makeover? Or has Dead Posey delivered the version you'll keep coming back to?

Yes, National Watermelon Day was yesterday.

No, we're not done talking about it.

Some debates are simply too important to be confined to a single day on the calendar, and this is one of them. Forget politics, forget pineapple on pizza, and forget whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie. It's time to tackle the question that's been dividing picnic tables, family reunions, and backyard cookouts for generations.

How do you eat your watermelon?

For some people, there's only one acceptable answer: straight out of the refrigerator. Ice cold, crisp, and refreshing on a hot summer day. Others argue that room-temperature watermelon has a sweeter flavor and a softer texture, making it the superior choice.

Then there are the seasoning crowd. A sprinkle of salt has been a Southern tradition for decades, with many claiming it brings out the fruit's natural sweetness. In recent years, Tajín has entered the conversation, adding a blend of chili peppers, lime, and salt that's become a favorite for anyone looking to give watermelon a little kick.

And then... there's Bobby.

Somewhere along the way, someone convinced him that dipping watermelon in mustard was a good idea. Whether that's culinary genius or evidence that he should lose all snack-related decision-making privileges is entirely up to you.

So where do you stand?

Temperature

Seasoning

This isn't just a discussion. It's a line in the sand.

Choose wisely.