Crown & Chaos

📬 Too cool to check your inbox? Http://rockingbobbyd.com

🔥 Presented by: Rock 105.7 Conways Rock Station

THE CHAOS CLASSIFIEDS

The wildest headlines of the week—because regular news is for normies.

Help Wanted:

🦉 MISSING: One unhinged owl. Duolingo claims their psychotic green bird is dead, but we all know he’s lurking in the shadows, plotting his next threat.

💰 DECISION-MAKER FOR HIRE: Got $247 burning a hole in your pocket? Nell Wulfhart will help you make literally any life decision. Mid-life crisis, existential dread, or just deciding what’s for dinner—she’s got you.

🤖 ROBOT DJ SEEKS HUMAN JOBS: A military-grade robot DJ-ed a club in San Francisco and played way too much Matchbox Twenty. Skynet’s gonna drop a mix next.

For Sale:

🛑 Benches. An engineer in San Francisco has built 200+ public benches for $80 a pop while the city charges $6,000 for the same thing. Bureaucracy at its finest.

🖼️ Secret Picasso: Conservators found another painting hiding under a Picasso portrait. Rembrandt’s secret art stash was way more chaotic.

Personal Ads:

🚗 1-BED, NO GARAGE: America’s first car-free neighborhood is thriving. Teens will have to figure out how to have awkward first kisses without a car to sit in.

SCIENCE—BUT MAKE IT CHAOTIC

We dig through the nerd reports so you don’t have to.

🦫 BEAVERS BUILT A $1.3M DAM FOR FREE. A wetlands restoration project in the Czech Republic was supposed to take years and cost a fortune. Then beavers rolled up, gnawed some logs, and handled business overnight. Hire them.

🌌 QUANTUM TELEPORTATION IS REAL. Scientists got computers six feet apart to communicate without wires—just pure photon wizardry. We’re one step closer to actual sci-fi hacking montages.

🚀 ASTRONAUTS, START JUMPING. A new study says hopping like an over-caffeinated kangaroo could prevent bone loss in space. Time to bring back Moon Shoes.

PHOTO OF THE WEEK

🏈 Philly went feral for the Eagles’ Super Bowl parade.

One million fans. Climbing light poles. Chugging beers in 30-degree weather. The city even changed its famous “LOVE” sign to honor Jalen Hurts. If that’s not dedication, we don’t know what is.

SNL TURNS 50—DOES IT STILL SLAP?

Saturday Night Live is celebrating its 50th anniversary tonight with a massive 3-hour special. But here’s the real question: Is it still funny?

🔹 Back in the day, SNL launched the careers of Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, and Bill Murray. It gave us Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, and half of your favorite GIFs.

🔹 Now? The internet changed the game. SNL’s live TV magic is fading, and Gen Z is more into TikTok skits than late-night sketches. Meanwhile, Joe Rogan interviews pull way more views than SNL’s political cold opens.

🔹 BUT DON’T COUNT IT OUT. It’s still the most-watched comedy on TV, and younger stars like Timothée Chalamet and Olivia Rodrigo are pulling in new fans.

🎤 The future of SNL? It depends on who takes over when 80-year-old Lorne Michaels retires. Rumor has it names like Tina Fey, John Mulaney, and Keenan Thompson are in the mix.

Would you miss SNL if it disappeared? Or is it just another relic of the past? Hit reply and let us know.

CROWN N CHAOS PICKS

🍗 Cook: The infamous “Marry Me Chicken” recipe. Food so good, it might land you a proposal.

✍️ Explore: Anthony Bourdain’s blog—because the man knew how to live.

🔪 Learn: The right way to chop shallots and garlic. You’re probably doing it wrong.

🧼 Clean: Stainless steel soap removes garlic smell. Science, baby.

📚 Presidential flex: Learn a new language with Babbel—up to 60% off for Presidents’ Day.

DESTINATION OF THE WEEK: A TV SHOW SET YOU CAN ACTUALLY VISIT

🏝️ White Lotus Season 3 drops tonight, and this time, it’s set in Thailand. The show thrives on rich people embarrassing themselves in luxurious places, and we’re here for it.

Would you survive a stay at The White Lotus? Or would you be the first to get caught up in the drama? Sound off in the comments.

OUTRO—ROCK ‘N’ ROLL CALL

👑 Chaos Army, you rock. Whether you’re streaming the show, sending in word suggestions, or just existing as the badass you are—we see you.

🔗 Keep the chaos going:

📲 Follow us on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

🎧 Catch the Rock King Bobby D show on Pandora, Spotify, Apple Music & Amazon Music.

📢 Want your name in the newsletter? Hit us up with a word of the day, a chaotic take, or just yell into the void.

Until next time—stay loud, stay rebellious, and never trust an AI DJ.

—CROWN N CHAOS

—Your Chaos Crew: RK Bobby D, ApocalypseChef from the kitchen, Peggy from Hr, Laura from Rockstar Relations, Red from the Chatboards and Ninja from Imaging.

SHARE THE CHAOS

• Does your friend need a dose of chaos? Forward this newsletter to them and let them join the party!

• If you received this from a friend, you can sign up for all the chaos here: